prayer disorder

in prayer
we are children
not in faith
but in habit

You are like vegetables
that we save for last
pushing them aside
not off the plate
but to the edge
fooling ourselves
as if we’ll want you later
but then we’re too full

we think of you
and want You badly
yet by dessert time
we choose cake and coffee
because they slip down easily

the vegetables remain
cold and waiting

We don’t know how
to say no
to good gifts
in order to make room
for the Giver

help us manage our plate
that overflows
with your gifts
that displace You
our Giver

Your generosity
seems absurd
spoiling us
don’t You know better?
or should we know better?
are we brainless consumers of good things?
have you not also granted us discipline and will?

in our prayer

make us aware
of our hunger pangs
that point toward our empty groaning
fill us with your presence

May we eat of your presence
together with each bite
of Your good gifts

and breath Your Spirit
as if You are the air around us

drinking Your presence
like cocktails
mixed with all things
both ordinary and sacred
making a toast
lifting to You
our holy mess
that you came
to be a part of