the "bad people" dynamic

It doesn’t take long before the “good people – bad people” dynamic becomes evident to an outsider living in this culture. This dynamic is the way individuals or groups view other individuals or groups as purely “good” or “bad”.

Despite the ambiguity of Hinduism and this culture, this dynamic seems to be the most rigid. But I suppose it still is ambiguous and arbitrary in its own way. It’s ambiguous because it’s quite relativistic and un-empathetic and based on personal opinions.

A number of days ago, our landlord’s family pulled J and I aside for a serious conversation. They were not angry with us, but simply had to inform us that certain people in our slum were “bad people” and that we were not to allow them into our room as we had done before. Basically, we have little choice other than to obey the rules of our landlord’s building because it’s a shared space where they can exercise authority even beyond the lease we wrote by hand. That’s just the way it is here. Here, renting from a landlord is not merely a business agreement, but also a complex relationship where the landlord possesses more arbitrary power than the tenant – period. It’s a relationship well worth maintaining.

We were able to communicate that our God commands us to love all people, both “good” and “bad”. We agreed that they can regulate who enters their property but we asked, somewhat rhetorically, if we could associate with “bad” people outside (meaning, people whom they consider to be bad). They concluded that our association outside was our choice.

Thankfully, we managed to communicate both respect for them as well as our fundamental value of liberal love towards all of our neighbors regardless of how they are perceived.

Regarding this whole dynamic, one must understand the underlying issues that are going on. I’m slowly learning, asking questions, trying to listen, observing, making mistakes, and trying to understand this important dynamic. So my current understanding may change as I realize my ignorance.

Here is my tentative understanding… People are full of fear of the unknown. We all have stereotypes and narrow perspectives of those who are different from us, especially as we feel threatened. We are human, and take care of our own, meaning, those with whom we feel understood, secure and comfortable. We rarely, if ever, have visited the home of this “other” group nor have we listened to their full story and perspective. This is very basic, yet look at the world’s hate, violence and fear today.

We can hardly point fingers at anyone. We ourselves also categorize people as “bad” all the time. Maybe we fool ourselves by declaring that we don’t interfere or judge our neighbors, coworkers or others who possess different ethical values. “To each their own!” we say. Especially in our neighborhoods, where we are trying to RE-present what it means to follow Jesus as we strive to love unconditionally and desire to make up for some of the unfortunate stereotypes of judgmental Christians.

But what happens when we truly look into our hearts? How does the media and your government indoctrinate you with to categorize certain people as bad? Do we remember that we don’t have the fully story? Have we ever walked in the shoes of terrorists and their daughters and sons, who see us and our governments as the epitome of evil? (I’m speaking here as an American)

As we engage in cultural learning, it’s easy to assume things and to condemn. But if we allow ourselves to empathize and learn, we may soon realize that the seemingly blatant flaws of others are mirrors into our own fearful and prideful souls. As we look through the window pane of experience into another culture and way of life, we must not forget to let the window’s reflection illuminate our own ugly realities. This is a process of painful realizations, but it also puts us on a road toward empathy, understanding and growth.

Dear God... Help us to put ourselves in the shoes of others. Help us to try on their sandals. And if they don’t have sandals, help us to try walking barefoot so we can understand them in some way, for one moment. Help us to visit their homes so we can see and hear their full story of joy and pain. And if they don’t have a home and if they are forbidden to come to ours, give us creativity to bridge the enormous gap between their life and ours.

Here's a talk by sociologist Sam Richards about empathy...

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