"Communion means accepting people just as they are, with all their limits and inner pain, but also with their gifts and their beauty and their capacity to grow: to see the beauty inside all of the pain. To love someone is not first of all to do things for them, but to reveal to them their beauty and value, to say to them through your attitude: 'You are beautiful. You are important. I trust you. You can trust yourself.' We all know well that we can do things for others and in the process crush them, making them feel that they are incapable of things by themselves. To love someone is to reveal to them their capacities for life, the light that is shining in them."
These are profound words! It's not just about what we do, but our attitude and how we do it. This is a great reminder that whatever good we do - no matter how grand or sacrificial it seems - we must reflect honestly. Does our action draw out and build up the existing potential in others? Or do we accidentally stunt human potential? Do we recognize God's image in them and help to foster their God-given creativity and abilities? Or do we always follow the urge to do everything ourselves so we feel productive, important and needed by others?
There's a time to advocate and act on other people's behalf. There's a time to work together with others in solidarity. And there's a time, maybe more often than we realize, when we are to do what seems slow, less tangible or downright unproductive. That is, to support and encourage in a way that invites a person to grow and blossom into her or his potential. To listen and affirm in a way that recognizes some one's shaky voice and perspective. To make space for them to discover that which they've never known they had in them. Maybe we'll be surprised how much more important the process is than the result we originally were trying to create by ourselves.
I would even suggest that we should constantly step back (big picture) to look at what we're actually trying to accomplish (in any line of work or relationship). Is our time and effort focused primarily on building up projects and programs? Or, if we have projects and programs, are we using them as tools for our real focus, which is that of building up the capacity that already exists within the people for whom all this is done in the first place? Are we trying to solve their problems, or are we encouraging them to learn to solve their own problems and recognize their opportunities, both now and for the future?
In saying this, I'm not trying to be pessimistic. But I am trying to be critical of how I, and how we do things. Certainly we all agree that the marginalized with whom we work are valuable enough that we should choose our steps extra carefully. Yet at the same time, we will always make mistakes and learn from them, and must not let the idea of experiments and mistakes paralyze us into inactivity. This is where we must begin.
I believe that this fragile attitudinal check is important for my work among the poor, and I hope to somehow learn what it means for me as time goes on. If any of you have ideas or examples related to this, I'd love to hear and learn.
I agree completely. I think the quality of service should be looked at first, rather than the quantity. For some reason im drawn to the verse "1 corinthians 13:1-3". we can do so much (physically) yet if we fail to have LOVE.. then we gain nothing. I think love has to be the reason for everything, and how we decide to help others should be looked upon very delicately.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's easier to inform then to encourage others to think and function for themselves. When I'm teaching it's so much simpler and requires so, so much less patience to simply tell my students what I THINK they need to know rather than guide them into questioning and discovering on their own. It's an out, basically.
ReplyDeleteI think this was a great post David. This past year, working with college students, I found myself continually needing to check myself and re-evaluate things. Was I teaching because I simply wanted to help them (and myself by extension) avoid failure, or was it genuinely something that was going to help foster a growth experience. Because its so true. It is so easy to get focused on the activities and not the root or purpose.
ReplyDeleteSomething that really encouraged me as the year began was the we can't be afraid of failure so much that we dont act. Failure means that at least we are trying. And if we arent failing, we arent trying. Now that can be taken to the extreme, but the premise was encouraging to me. Praying for you friend.
Thanks for your thoughts, friends.
ReplyDeleteYeah, we are bound to fail even as we try to move forward cautiously. But it's essential to learn from our mistakes, along with the mistakes of those who are gracious enough to share their mistakes with us.
Judson... I think you're dead on, bro. It's funny how we talk about things like love so often, yet often forget to incorporate it deeply into all that we do. And how do we figure out how to love God and people with our entire being?... heart, mind, strength. We're challenged to use everything God's provided in order to love as well as possible. May we be faithful in this...